I Can Walk!

“I am the Lord, I have heard you calling. I am your God, I have seen your tears, I AM! I AM! Soon all will see My glory thru your weakness, soon all will know My Name throughout the land. I AM! I AM! I AM THE LORD!”

June 15, 2012 I went in to yet another doctor, Dr. Matsunaga, a local guy recommended to me by a friend at church. Having been to multiple doctors over the past 6 months that were unable to help me walk without severe pain I had little hope that his treatment would be effective. My husband had scheduled a trip to Deep Creek, just the two of us, for the weekend & I secretly prayed that I would be able to walk for our trip. Dr. Matsunaga is a pain specialist & he treats people with RSD (Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy) or its newer term CRPS (Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome). He said he was going to give me a shot in the region of my tailbone that was intended to stop the pain going down my leg into my foot. If it helped then my diagnosis would be CRPS & he could treat me with these shots of steroids, saline & pain medicine. He said I may need the shot a couple of times to get the pain message turned off & return to my previous level of function. He also said if it didn’t help immediately but felt better in a couple of days it was more of a lower back issue & the steroids were helping that. Either way, I should have a pain relief & a diagnosis.

I was a little skeptical because it sounded so simple. I lay on my stomach waiting for the injection hoping against hope that it would help. I began to feel a warm sensation down my leg & foot as the medication made its way into my system. I laid there for a few minutes & then he asked me to stand up. THE PAIN WAS GONE! I could stand (a little wobbly since I hadn’t walked in 6 months) but I stood on 1 foot, my right foot without pain. I couldn’t even believe it! I thanked Dr. Matsunaga & his assistants for their treatment with a polite hug & a grateful smile. DJ & I calmly walked out of the office & wept tears of joy in each other’s arms outside the office doors. Across the hall was a cancer treatment office & people looked at us with empathy. Even in the elevator, as kind people attempted to console me, I tried to explain that my tears were tears of joy not sadness, tears of relief from the constant disabling pain. We had finally found an answer, I had CRPS but there was a treatment & possibly a cure as the shots built upon one another if I went in as soon as I felt pain.

We drove home, I walked up the steps, I cried. We went to the pool to pick up the boys (a friend of mine was babysitting the boys at the pool)…I walked through the gate of the pool & embraced my boys. I cried as the boys leapt up & down saying, “Mom, you can WALK!” I took a little hand & walked back to the car & more tears fell. I had been holding in my fears & anxieties about my future in for so long & the tears came out everytime I did anything that I used to not be able to do without great pain.   

                DJ & I had a wonderful time in Deep Creek walking along the lake, enjoying God’s creation & each other. Since that time I have had another shot & scheduled for my 3^rd shot this week. I may not return to running & leaping in the immediate future but I am walking & able to care for my precious family.

Thank you all for your encouragement, kindness & prayers extended to me & my family through this whole ordeal. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

 I Samuel 12:24 “Be sure to fear the Lord & serve Him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.” He has done GREAT things for me! 

We are back on the adoption trail now & excited about what God has in store for us. I am not back to work as I am not sure I can stand for 12 hours just yet but I have been able to be the camp nurse for a few local church camps which has been just as good for me as it has been for my boys that attend. I have been enjoying my “legs” so much that I am not really on Facebook much or blogging often, however, I will update on our adoption journey. 

Remember to treasure each day for it is a gift from God, as is your family, friends & whatever health you may have. Cherish it all, make the most of each moment, WALK in your calling! 

This is Your Baby Girl...

I have had my share of challenges with my health over the past six months. I have had so many wonderful friends come alongside me through this difficult time that I am so humbled & grateful for their support. This past week I had one of my dear friends call me up to offer to take me to lunch. I know that seems like a small thing but the timing was ideal. I had fasted the night before for lab work (they took  11 tubes of blood) that morning, my preschooler was throwing a fit, the brakes on the van were squeaking not to mention the fact that I was hungry, irritable & in pain. I was practically in tears when she called & oh so thankful she did. We returned from lunch around 2pm. High schoolers were coming home from school & we saw this glowing, very pregnant girl walking up the street, backpack on, ankles swollen. We stopped & introduced ourselves. The girl was carrying a large volume of English Poetry in her hand & she spoke of her plans to graduate high school (in 2014). She told us she was having a girl & what all she was looking forward to in her future with her daughter. I offered to babysit so she could study as we exchanged contact information. She had such a sweet spirit. We prayed together briefly & she departed after a quick hug. As I watched her walk across the street, her dress swung freely in the light breeze, the Lord whispered to me, “This is your baby girl….oh & that is your mission field.”

No, I will NOT be adopting her daughter; her daughter will not live in my home for us to love & cherish. I will however, come alongside her & encourage her as she enters motherhood. I have been good at encouraging young mothers in the past & with the Lord’s help I will continue to exhort young women in motherhood.  I won’t say I didn’t cry a few tears when God told me this. It was a baby girl & I would be pouring into both her life & her mothers’ but she would not be mine in the terms that I had thought.

I have been in contact with the birth mother of the foster girl that was in our home a few months ago. She has a long way to go with the horrors that have happened to her & the demons she still wrestles with. She has been cleaning my bathrooms to earn a little gas money to go visit her daughter which has benefited us both-we get to talk each week, she gets some cash & my bathrooms are sparkling clean! (so clean that Taylor thought he didn’t need to wash his hands after using the bathroom because, ‘the bathroom is so clean that there are no more germs on the toilet!’ Thus he didn't need to wash, gotta love 4 yr old logic!) J

I also will NOT be going to Honduras on a medical mission trip this fall but the neighborhood across the street has a teenage mom, a mother battling severe mental illness, a group of kids that hangs out at my house often & many others that He has called me to be a part of if only I will obey the call to the mission field across the street.

My God really does have a sense of humor… “this is your baby girl…oh & that is your mission field.”

A Series of Unfortunate Events

I know I said I wasn’t really going to talk about my foot/leg issue unless I had great news & well, I have good news in that I was able to find a doctor, in Columbia, that treats chronic regional pain syndrome-CRPS (the current name for RSD). So that was really good, no more trips to Richmond, VA needed. The Pain Specialist increased some medications that I was already on & gave me three new meds to help manage my pain. “Finally”, I thought to myself, “I will finally not be in such horrible pain!” The very same day I came home from the doctor to find a lovely potted plant on my steps, a gift from my neighbor.  I felt like things were really looking up.

I excitedly packed my bag for a weekend with some girlfriends. We weren’t going anywhere, just a local hotel (so we could get some sleep) with girly activities planned-pedicures, pottery, & a play…it was going to be wonderful. Friday evening we went to dinner & then a movie. One of the ladies needed to go home the 1^st night to take her daughter to dance class in the morning so we dropped her off at her car. We sat chit chatting in the car for 5-10 minutes before she got out of our car to get into her own. She left & we attempted to turn on our car. Dead. We tried a few more times & it wouldn’t turn over. It was12:30 at night & we were blocking three cars so we called AAA & they came to jump us (very quickly I might add) . We drove around for 10 minutes to charge the battery & got back to our room around 1:30am. My pain tends to get worse as the day progresses so I decided to take one of my new pain medications as I didn’t want anything to spoil my weekend with the girls. We stayed up talking for another hour or so & I drifted off to sleep in a lovely bed full of pillows & comfort.

I woke up naturally Saturday morning. We relaxed in the room until a little before 10am heading downstairs to a delightful continental breakfast of fresh fruit & coffee.  I felt a little tired, attributing it to a late night & my untimely monthly “visitor” coming the day before. I drank another cup of coffee to perk up & enjoy my friend’s company. She was talking but I was seeing two of her, I was getting nauseous & asked for a cup of water thinking I might be dehydrated. After a couple cups of water did not make me better I confessed that I needed to lay down. It wasn’t a big deal as we didn’t have anything planned for awhile & we were waiting for our friend to arrive from being with her daughter.  My head was spinning, I was super nauseous, laying down was NOT making me feel better. I remembered that I had a pain patch on so I took that off thinking maybe my pressure was dropping (I have passed out on several occasions in high school & during pregnancy. Every time it was due to low blood pressure & dehydration). I tried to drink some more water but it wasn’t helping. I knew I was sick, too sick to be hanging out with the girls. I weakly called my husband to come get me (my friends had gone to lunch). When they got back I was crawling on the floor, too weak to get back in the bed. I sat on the floor with tears of disappointment & frustration streaming down my face. They helped me back to bed, suggesting a little rest before the play that evening. I knew I was NOT going to make it to the play, I couldn’t even see my way to the bathroom! My husband arrived & my friends got a wheelchair for me & wheeled me to the car.

I am not sure if it was the movement of the car or what but I felt like I was going in & out of consciousness in the van. My words were mumbled & I felt limp. The AC was on but I felt like I wasn’t getting air. I managed to ask my husband to take me to the ER. I didn’t want to pass out at home with the boys. He took me to the hospital & they wheeled me in. We had our 2 youngest sons with us & DJ calls a friend from church to pick up the boys. What wonderful friends we have! They not only picked them up from the hospital but they went to our house to get my 10 yr old & the boys pj’s! Then they took them to their house, fed them, spoiled them & the boys spent the night with them while we were at the hospital for 6 hours.  I got fluids & nausea medicine & left the hospital with only a minor headache & nausea.

Sunday morning I awoke to a gloriously quiet house & some fresh fruit my husband had prepared for me. I stayed in the bed most of the day. I went outside in the afternoon to sit in the sun & listen to squeals of delight as my boys ran in the sprinkler & had mud ball fights. More friends came to bring food for the boys & vegetable sushi for the adults. I was so encouraged by all the love shown to me & my family in a difficult time.

This week my chiropractor is concerned that I might have a ruptured disk causing my foot & leg pain. I have an MRI of my back Friday so we shall see what it says & go from there. I am slowly reintroducing my new medications to see if I have an adverse reaction to any of them (you would think I would know better as a nurse!) J

Count Your Blessings

http://www.mcleanbible.org/media_player.asp?type=large&messageID=103628

http://www.mcleanbible.org/media_player.asp?type=large&messageID=103957

http://www.mcleanbible.org/media_player.asp?type=large&messageID=104665

(links to some really great messages that are encouraging me during this time) 

Mother’s Day was bittersweet for me. I am so very thankful for my sweet boys & their love for me. I am learning to trust God’s plans for me. A baby girl for me is not part of the plan right now. I have 2 sister-in-laws pregnant with little girls & I am excited to love on my nieces. And I heard a message about how Satan got Eve to sin & he still uses that SAME approach today. He isolates her, he gets her to think that God doesn’t really care about her, & then he gets her to see the ONE thing that she doesn’t have. Wow. Totally convicted on that one! I am not saying that it doesn’t hurt to have asked for over 10 years for a little girl for God to say, “No” or “Not Now”. What I am saying is that I need to concentrate & focus on what I DO have, three wonderful boys. God is good.

I am not sure if the pain in my foot & leg will ever “be healed”. I have been to almost a dozen doctors, changed my diet, taking all kinds of supplements & high doses of Lyrica (for neuropathic pain) with minimal amounts of improvement. I am able to drive & hobble around my house. If I have to walk over 20 feet then its with a crutch or on my scooter in stores only because the pain is so great. I am learning to live with my new ‘normal’ & hoping for all this to be behind us soon. I won’t be updating on it anymore unless I have some fantastic news J

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Refrain

Oh Baby

The past two weeks have been a challenge. Doctors are still unsure about the reason for my continued pain in my foot & leg. The 3 Phase Bone Scan was negative which is a good sign meaning I probably do not have RSD.  I am currently being treated for neuropathy of unknown origin according to my Hopkins Specialist. Perhaps I have a pinched nerve in my back causing the pain in my leg & foot. It’s all an enigma. Since my condition is unknown & the treatments thus far are not enabling me to be fully functional & walking without an assistive device, my husband & I decided that we should not continue in our pursuits of adoption at this time.

We had a baby girl that was free to adopt going to court on May 7. It was heart breaking for me to take our name off the list as a potential family for her. I love my three sons very much & so very grateful for the opportunity to be their mother but my heart still hurt knowing that I may not get a little girl for awhile, if ever.  I was very frustrated with my situation & irritated by the uncertainty of it all. I asked some dear friends to pray for me as I was depressed & heartbroken. God is good & through their love, prayers & support I was able to refocus on Christ & know that He is still in control & He does still have a plan for our lives. (I just don’t know what it is). All things are NOT good but He does work all things together for my good.  A few days later we were told that the little girl may be adopted by her maternal grandmother. That knowledge for me was comforting. I was reminded that God is still on the throne & that He is orchestrating all things for the good of our family & this dear baby girl.

Thank you all for your unwavering support, I am so very blessed by you. 

A Neurotoxic Vegetable?

Driving back from Richmond, VA my wonderful husband had a great suggestion. He suggested that I make a chronological timeline of appointments, exams, treatments, medications & what each of the recommendations were from the various doctors so that I would be sure not to leave any information out for both my doctors & myself. What an excellent recommendation! It allowed me to present my case to my doctors in a systematic format that they could easily read & review without having to go through multiple doctors notes to summarize my care. The doctors reading it have appreciated my thoroughness & it enables them to get straight to the point regarding a plan of action, so thanks babe, great idea.

Here’s an excerpt from the last couple of doctors:

April 16-Dr Capello-podiatrist--very nice, read thru my timeline thus far, she does not like to step on anyone’s toes (other doctors/etc). She recommended that I do the 3 Phase Bone Scan as that is the gold standard for RSD.

1a) If it is negative she would be happy to aggressively treat me for plantar fasciitis (custom orthotics, night splints, etc) if it is RSD she would recommend I see Dr. Matsunaga or other pain specialist to manage my care.

1b) She also placed a temporary orthotic on it that needs to stay on until bone scan on 4/18-if it feels better than its probably plantar fasciitis, if it does not feel better it is probably RSD/CRPS- chronic regional pain syndrome

2) She also advises that I NOT go to Richmond to see Dr. Zimmer or Kathy. She said that if RSD is ruled out via Bone Scan than she could treat Plantar fasciitis & Kathy’s treatment of Raynauds would be a low dose propranolol which anyone could give me. (although I believe Dr Merritt said Kathy has some kind of long-term treatment for Raynauds)

April 16- Dr. Ring- Chiropractor that also incorporates Applied Kinesiology-referral from Dr. Finucan in upstate NY via the website icakusa.com.

Dr. Ring advises getting 3 phase bone scan for RSD. He did muscle testing on me and found 2 major things:

1. I have a pinched nerve @ L4. That nerve goes down my right leg into my foot. He did not say that I do NOT have RSD but does say that he can fix my leg pain & it might help with my foot as well.

2. I am allergic to CORN. He tested me for milk, wheat, soy & corn allergies through muscle testing. I was positive for a corn allergy. Now Dr. Ring was not overly enthusiastic in his presentation, it was simply the facts. He suggested that I stop eating corn or corn derivatives. His secretary would give me a food list when I left.

He did say that corn as an allergy is a neurotoxin, meaning it is attacking the central nervous system.

It didn’t take long for me to come to the conclusion that eliminating corn from my diet could possibly improve my health dramatically. My contact dermatitis-a central nervous system disorder, my Raynauds-a central nervous system disease, my migraines-a central nervous system disorder, and if I did in fact have Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy in my foot-it was also a central nervous system disorder. I thought about it & realized that I eat corn or one of its derivatives at nearly every meal &/or snack! When I got home & began googling “Corn Allergy” I got over 6 pages of corn products; from make-up, lipstick, gum, toothpaste, lotions, soap, adhesives, envelopes to most sauces, soups, washes on meat, even coverings on many vitamins!

Funny cause if I had gone to Dr. Ring without being in a state of desperation I would not have given up my French Vanilla Creamer just to be healthy (I tend to eat what I want & do an extra exercise video to maintain a certain size/weight) But I am turning into my mother, who oddly enough is allergic to both corn & wheat. So farm fresh fruits & veggies at every meal, here I come! Organic isn’t always corn free either. Some organic meats have an ethanol preservative (ethanol is derived from corn). I am not sure how far I am going to go with this corn allergy as it really is a drastic change in our lifestyle but I will do my best to avoid the obvious corn & see if I notice a difference.

Dr. Ring did say that I should continue to see the pain specialist & have my 3 Phase Bone Scan, etc. Eliminating corn from my diet could take weeks to see a marked improvement as it has been building up in my system for years. He was not suggesting that the corn allergy would take away my foot pain but it was a natural solution that I could at least try for a month or so & see how it goes. My pinched nerve would require multiple adjustments in my back for a few weeks but should alleviate my leg pain. So that was a profitable visit.

April 18- I had my 3 Phase Bone Scan & awaiting the results from that. I should hear something in the next few days either way.

My mom is coming this weekend to help me buy foods & cook meals with my new allergy. I am grateful that she can give me advice & help with the boys. Oh and for those who bring us meals, don’t worry about “catering” to me, the men in the house love all food & will devour the meal in no time.

And next week April 25-Pain Center @ Hopkins (8:50am) where I will get to see an RSD specialist in our area.

Here are some sites on Corn Allergies/Symptoms/products if you are interested:

http://www.cornallergens.com/list/corn-allergen-list.php

http://allergies.about.com/od/foodallergies/a/cornallergy.htm

http://no-corn.blogspot.com/

http://www.allergicchild.com/corn_allergies.htm

Next week I will write more about foster care & adoption…

Updates

So it has been a little while since I last updated on the lives of the Jordan Crew. We are doing just fine. No extra kids staying with us, Trey’s surgery to re-remove his adenoids went well & he’s breathing well, DJ’s studies are coming along nicely & I am learning more about my physical condition.

I have been to numerous doctors & it has been frustrating to be “dismissed” by multiple doctors that don’t treat RSD & then refer me to other doctors that also don’t treat RSD. This past week DJ & I travelled to Richmond, VA to see a specialist there. Dr. Merritt far exceeded our expectations - he sat & discussed treatment options, medications & tests that he wanted to confirm Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy. I am scheduled for a 3 Phase Bone Scan which is considered the gold standard to diagnose RSD. Thankfully I was able to get that test scheduled here in MD & not have to travel to Richmond for that. He started me on some medications to help my central nervous system stop throwing the fit that it’s been throwing & my pain has lessened considerably for which I am grateful.

I learned that Raynauds Syndrome, a condition that I’ve had since I was a teenager, where my fingers & toes get very white & numb when exposed to cold weather is NOT a circulatory problem which I had previously been told but rather a nervous system problem where the nerves on my blood vessels constrict causing the poor blood flow to my extremities. Dr. Merritt hypothesized that I have always had some central nervous system issues but have managed them prior to this event. Having Raynauds does make me more susceptible to RSD as both conditions are caused by a hyperactive central nervous system. Low doses of anti-seizure medications have helped to decrease the response of my central nervous system to the point of injury.

I am thankful for Dr. Merritt’s medical opinion & analysis of my condition. He helped DJ & I recognize many of the other minor health concerns I have had might have been either caused by or exacerbated by an overactive central nervous system. This led me to start looking for an alternative medicine doctor. As a critical care RN, I have great respect for critical care medicine & medications that can save one’s life. I also value preventative care to keep one from needing critical, emergent care in the first place! Preventative care might mean taking synthetic drugs but it can also mean altering ones diet & lifestyle. I have seen Applied Kinesiology work very well, in conjunction with natural supplements, in maintaining good health. Obviously there is a time & place for both approaches to health & well-being. I am taking steroids, anti-epileptic drugs in attempt to get things under control for the “critical state” that my foot & leg are in but hope to maintain good central nervous system health through more natural long-term treatments. So that’s the plan & I will let you know how it works.

The child that we are hoping to adopt is still lost in a bureaucratic system of chaotic paperwork & social workers but I think it may just be God’s way of giving us time to get my foot under control before adding another special member to our family. DJ has been wonderful in encouraging me to persevere through the discouraging times & this challenge has strengthened us both individually & as a couple. Thank you all for your continued support & love.

Man Up!

I finally get it! Funny how God gives us those, “Aha moments” even when we don’t deserve to know Him or understand Him more, He is gracious & reveals Himself in ways that we can understand.

I had that moment the other day. I went to my ladies bible study Tuesday night & we have been studying the book of John (a great book to start out with if you’re seeking to know Jesus). Anyway, we’re reading in John & we were discussing personal loss of a loved one. The shortest & one of the most “memorized” verses was mentioned, John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” Being a Christ follower for a number of years I have heard this verse about a hundred times. And I was critical of my Lord. I mean, why in the world would Jesus weep? He’s the Son of God?! Sure his friend, Lazarus, had died but it never made sense to me why the God of the Universe would weep? Especially when He knew he was going to raise him from the dead a few minutes later. Why is Jesus weeping? Maybe it’s because I am a mother of boys & thus a little tough but I have often thought to myself, “Man UP! Why are you crying? Just raise him back to life already!!!” (It’s hard to admit that a nurse, a HEART nurse, such as myself might actually lack compassion?!?)

As I sat amongst the women giving these spiritually intelligent answers for why Jesus wept & how He feels like we feel even though He is God, my negative thoughts began creeping in but I wouldn’t give voice to them fearing the others would see inside of me, revealing my despicable heart. Being raised in a Baptist church I certainly knew the right answers to say but inwardly I didn’t believe anything coming out of my own mouth. I was embarrassed to admit my skeptical & cynical thoughts. After all, good Christians don’t say, “Man up” to the Savior of the world, right? I felt like Jesus was being cruel testing Mary & Martha with questions of “Do You Believe?” in the midst of the loss of their brother. I mean, in those days if a woman was without a man to care & protect her it could be a very grim existence for her. The loss of their brother was devastating enough without Jesus adding to their pain with questions testing their belief. Why did he delay in the first place? He could have come earlier when Mary & Martha first sent word that Lazarus was ill (vs 3) & kept Lazarus from dying.  In John 11:15 we hear Jesus purposely delayed so he could increase his disciples’ faith. Ok, wait a minute. He allows his very dear friend to die. Mary & Martha, whom he loved, he let them suffer anguish & grief, basically ignoring them, he even missed the burial, all so he could teach his disciples to have more faith?!? And it wasn’t as if these disciples were all that. One of whom would betray Him, another would doubt Him, all of them questioned Him. Seems like a cruel thing for a loving God to do to me for people that just didn’t get it.

Personally the last couple of days have been difficult for me, my pain has been unbearable. I have tried to avoid narcotics as I don’t want to require them for a long period of time due to the possibly chronic nature of RSD. I have literally cried myself to sleep from the pain & have popped a few pills but they only make me sleepy, they didn’t really take away the pain.  I seem to hurt the most at night, not exactly sure why? Maybe it’s because I am finally quiet & still & can feel it more or maybe it’s because I used my muscles & bones all day & by the end of the day I’m spent. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. Whatever the case may be, I have been discouraged by the whole thing, feeling like I take 1 step forward to take 5 steps backwards. My husband has been quite supportive through this whole ordeal. This injury has cost hundreds of dollars in doctor’s visits, tests & therapy & thousands of dollars of lost pay over the past 3 months & he hasn’t complained once. He did make a comment that revealed his frustrations about caring for someone with a chronic condition that really cut me to the core. It was the first time I thought, “We might not make it through this. This is a lot for him to bear.”

The fears of being abandoned again by a man welled up in me. 15 years ago my father left me & I can vividly remember the emotional pain of feeling not good enough to stay for. He didn't just leave my mother, he left me without a word uttering good-bye or see you soon. BUT GOD!!! Oh, thank you Lord for interrupting my scarred memories to show me that my faith & trust was in a man & not in GOD! Yes, my husband is wonderful & loyal to me but he is a man & capable of letting me down at times when I really need someone. Man will  let you down if your faith is solely in them.  Reminds me of a story I just read…Mary & Martha, their hope was in a man, Jesus (as the man/not as God) to come & save the day. He didn’t come, their brother died & now they were left to fend for themselves.  Jesus came & prayed to the FATHER! He was showing them all not to have faith in man but in GOD!

As our family searches for answers to a diagnosis that no one wants to treat & we wait months for a baby that is free to adopt but lost in a foster care system I am reminded that God is working in His timing for all things. He is gently carrying our family through the trials so that in the end the only one that can receive any glory is God.  Oh how great & loving is my God. Despite my doubtful, mocking & treacherous heart He revealed to me that Jesus came as a man, to relate to all our fears, struggles, hopes & dreams, & lead us to God.

Thank You

To all the wonderful people who have called, prayed, encouraged or helped a sister out, I say "Thank You!"

“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?” I Thessalonians 3:9

I am overwhelmed by the love shown to me & my family during our time of need. Wow!
From making delicious muffins, soups, dinners, to cleaning the house (and the nasty toilets!), laundry, helping kids on/off the bus, giving the kids rides to events, giving me rides to doctor appointments during the day, I even had someone offer to clean up my son’s vomit & put the clothes in the laundry for me. 

What a blessing you have been to me!

“Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” Proverbs 27:10b

I am so very blessed to have a wonderful family that loves me dearly. They do live far enough away that they cannot help me with everyday things. (My brother lives in CT, my mom resides in Virginia Beach, my father lives in Florida & his family in Ohio, my mother-in-law is the closest distance to me at 1.5 hrs away in Reston, VA). My neighbors & friends have been like a family to me. I am so very grateful for the love & support demonstrated to me, it literally brings me to tears. Paul said it best in Philippians1:3, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.” Thank you, thank you, thank you is all I can say! I pray the Lord blesses you a hundred fold for your demonstration of love to me. “May the Lord bless you & keep you…and be gracious to you…and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26.


Giving God Glory for He is Worthy,

~The Jordan Crew~

Looks So Beautiful...Yet Smells Fishy

We have this tree in our front yard that I love.  Every season it displays its beauty for all to see. Springtime is probably my favorite season for this tree. The white flowers that it majestically portrays are breath-taking. Until you in fact, take a deep breath. The smell is horrible! Smells like a cross between rotten fish & dirty socks. I can’t even open the windows for a long time without the odor overtaking the beauty that it possesses on the outside. As if the aroma weren’t enough I am reminded of when a hurricane came through this past year & the tree split, falling on our house. Multiple contractions said that Bradford Pears are infamous for splitting & causing damage. They said that these trees were used because, “they are inexpensive & always beautiful but shouldn’t be close to the house because they are likely to cause damage later on.” At the time I didn’t really think much of the conversation other than my irritation that land developers/contractors don’t always think long term & quality, but cheap & quick sell. I’ll return to my conversation about this tree later. (I have a point, I promise).

This week was more reflective for me, not so much of my own personal drama which I was thankful for.  The foster girl that had been at our house is now in a single woman’s home which is perfect for her. She will have someone who can devote time to her as well as a new school environment to help her with a fresh start. We plan to bring her to church on Sundays & have a family dinner so we can still remain an active part of her life. My neighbors’ son stayed with us for a few nights while his mother got her medications balanced. She knows that we will be here if she needs to stay in the hospital for a period of time which she was ever so grateful for. I pray that we can be a witness to this family of Muslims & Catholics.

Probably the thing that struck me the most this week was a dear friend of mine lost her husband suddenly to a heart attack leaving her widowed with 4 children.  A devastating loss for her & her kids, three of whom are adopted which may leave them with an even greater sense of loss, I don’t know. But when you see the pain in the world, the pain & suffering all around you it really causes you to reflect on your own life, however selfish that may sound, I must confess it seems to be true in my life.

 My pain is annoying, sometimes I can walk sometimes I can’t. I went to an RSD specialist at Georgetown this week. He was very kind but he only does surgical correction for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. There are often nerve complexes damaged with RSD & in those instances he can surgically go in & repair the nerves thus eliminating the pain. He believes that I have RSD but my damage is not at the top of my foot where he could do a repair. He referred me to a specialist in Richmond, VA.  So that wasn’t the greatest news, a little disappointing but nothing in the realm of life threatening like my dear friend. Helping others in situations far worse than my own has helped me keep things in perspective.  

  I have found myself stuck over the last few weeks. I am supposed to rest yet I am told to ‘remain active’. I am not working yet there’s plenty of “work” to be in our home with three boys. I have found it difficult to just be still. I know it’s necessary to be still, to read my Bible, pray & grow in quietness. Working on strengthening the inner person seems to be quite tedious to me. I am good at being a student & studying for the purpose of a test makes sense to me. However, being still just because it is good for me has been a challenge.

As we welcome spring & all its newness I am intrigued by this fishy smelling Bradford Pear tree. How can a tree be so beautiful but weak & smelly? I am reminded of the verse in I Samuel 16:7, “Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.” What does MY heart look like? Am I merely adorned with jewelry & the “right” jean size (I Peter 3:3)? As I struggle to prepare for summertime without the ability to run & do quick cardio I am reminded of my need to make the inside beautiful. So often I cling to the Scriptures when I am in despair but when everything is ok I may miss a day or two of my time with God. Why must life be in a state of near catastrophe before I come to God? I so long to be a tree planted by the waters, a steady, calm, committed follower of Christ.  Jeremiah 17:8, " He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought & never fails to bear fruit."

I want to be beautiful from the inside out & produce a sweet aroma all the time & in every season. O Lord, through all the seasons of life, the good & the bad, You are there. May we cling to You at all times & all that we do prosper for Your Name's sake. (Psalms 1:3).

He Will Carry Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSFH6_IiOlw

A Moment in Time

Can one person really change a life forever? Can completing mundane everyday routines enhance the lives of those around you? It takes a lifetime of experiences & education to really shape a person.  But if “one day in His Court is like a thousand elsewhere” & “my life but a breath” where do I fit in on the timeline of eternity?

For one young almost teenage girl, it will be a moment in time & I pray that it changes her positively.

Where do I begin?

We welcomed a teenage guest into our home this week. We eagerly anticipated her arrival & although I was a little nervous (I don’t do teenage girls because I was once a nasty teenage girl), I was also excited for her to come. She has been pleasant, not rude, really a sweet kid. She does come with some baggage. But who doesn’t? She’s had some rough experiences to no fault of her own.  I don’t really know her story as they didn’t even tell me her name when they called, just that they needed an immediate respite placement for her. So this has all been a process of discovery.

I discovered that teenage girls are not so different from me in terms of feelings & concerns but vastly different in ways they might express those feelings & concerns. Our teenager has a fun, welcoming personality & enjoyed being part of our lively, energetic family.  She almost instantly became meshed into our way of doing things, helping to clear the table or read a book at night (although I found out later that she really struggles with reading).

Our week started out pretty smooth, all things considered. The kids all got along & we were doing well. We had a couple hiccups, like she tried to download some pornographic material on a reader but I caught it & explained that it wasn’t appropriate for her. I understand that her body is changing & curiosity was probably her greatest motivator behind her actions but still, it wasn’t what we wanted in our home. My husband was ready to ship her out that same moment but since I was the one home & handling it we had a conversation about it & heightened the rules for Nook/computer. Basically we all had to stay in the family area & screens were checked continually. She acknowledged our desires to not have pornography in the home & agreed to not look for it while at our house. We had a good talk a few days later about how her body was changing, purity & other girl talk.

Wednesday I went to Dr. Zawasaka, an acupuncturist. What a wonderful blessing that turned out to be! He practiced as a vascular surgeon for 30 years, decided when he turned 60 that he wanted to retire at a slower pace & became an acupuncturist. Now, 20 years later, at 80 years old, he is still practicing in his “retirement job! He is such a nice guy. I was so thankful that he had medical experience & wanted to review my CT’s & MRI’s to see if I might in fact need vascular surgery (although he doesn’t practice it anymore he could certainly evaluate it & recommend someone for me). He was very thorough in taking my history & reviewing my risk factors, even compared my pulses on both legs & feet. The temperature was different but the pulses were the same which he said was a good sign from a vascular point. I was a little apprehensive about acupuncture as my last experience with nerve conduction needles was excruciating.  After acupuncture my foot pain was greatly reduced! My migraine was gone & I was practically jumping for joy (ok, not quite jumping but off my crutch at the time). He anticipates seeing me weekly for 6 weeks with hopes for complete pain relief. I have little intradermal needles in now that are supposed to help with pain in between sessions (and if you ask my physical therapist the difference that acupuncture has made would make a believer out of you as well!)

Friday, the day I was supposed to post this blog, was a whirlwind. Actually, I think it started Thursday evening.  Our foster daughter came home after school on Thursday, sick. Tyson & Taylor were on antibiotics for strep so I made an appointment for her to go to urgent care & be seen. She didn’t have strep which was a relief, just a virus. She went to school Friday morning feeling a little under the weather but she really wanted to go to see her special friend. She was still attending the school that had the inappropriate relationship within her last placement & would see her “friend” at school.  I spoke with the agency as I was told that she would be at our house through Friday. The one social worker knew nothing of that arrangement, talking about finding a placement for her within the next 3 to 4 weeks! DJ & I met with the agency person who originally told me Friday & she conveniently forgot that she said that. We weren’t trying to kick the girl out of our house but we have all boys & one that is crashing into puberty.  Her last placement had to be terminated because of a situation within the home & we did NOT want to repeat that scenario within our home (we didn’t learn of her previous situation until after she arrived at our home). DJ was especially nervous having a possibly promiscuous teenage girl sleeping in our house amidst a testosterone filled home. A week is one thing but a month? A month means she’s not a guest but a member of the household, it would completely change how we related to her. We wanted to convey to the agency that we were uneasy about the situation. Personally it was quite agonizing for me. Her thirteenth birthday was coming up, her mom wasn’t fighting for her, her dad wasn’t trying to get her, she was in her 3^rd home & 3^rd school in 3 weeks…she really was dealt a crappy hand. I didn’t want her going from one respite home (ours) to another. I wanted her to have a permanency plan that would allow for some stability thus I was willing to have her stay for another week or so if that would help facilitate that.

I went to pick her up from school Friday afternoon & she was not in her normal place. I waited for 15 minutes before calling inside the school for them to page her overhead. 10 more minutes passed & I began panicking. My kids were due to be home in 5 minutes so I called a friend to pick them up. What is going on? I LOST my foster daughter!!!! I called the social worker who gave me a few numbers of her friends & says we’ll call the police in 2 hours if we don’t find her. I search the fields, call the school to search the bathrooms, she is NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!?! Praying for her safety I return back to my home to pick up my kids. Almost as soon as I pull into the neighborhood to pick up the boys I get a phone call. Praise be to God, someone saw her with her special friend in an area where they weren’t supposed to be & sent them back into school. 40 minutes later I pick her up shaking with relief but irritated that she was like, “I was ok, I wasn’t worried” AGH!!! I explained how worried I was, how we were about to file a Missing Persons report, how the other kids were not taken care of because I was looking for her, etc, etc.  She didn’t express any remorse until I told her that the punishment would be she would be picked up & dropped off at the door of the school, no hanging out with friends & walking around the back to go into the school from a different entrance.

Friday night I took the boys to Awana & hung out with our foster daughter. We talked & arranged to meet with her mother the next day. The social worker called to say he had a permanent placement for her on Monday to which she responded by sobbing as she didn’t want to leave her school or our home. She asked me to adopt her which broke my heart (she is not free to be adopted). As she cried on her bed her radio blared. Normally I would ask her to turn it down as the music coming out was often offensive but this time I heard, “your Great Name…” streaming out of her room. It was as if the music was there to comfort her. I don’t know how the channel changed but it calmed her & she was back to her normal fun personality. By the end of the night my leg was numb & I was exhausted.  Hubby came home from his conference that evening & we both felt like we had experienced at least 3 days in one day…truly emotionally draining.

Saturday we did morning chores & took everyone to the library. Trey had a playdate & I took our foster daughter to have a day with her mom. When I picked her up that evening she was reaching for her mother as we drove away, her body convulsing as the emotional turmoil from being taken from her mother broke her heart.  She was quiet that night, withdrawn, often crying in her room. She had pretty bad cramps which probably only added to her emotional discourse but found my soothing teddy bear (it’s like a heating pad) comforting.

Sunday, Daylight Savings Time, we all woke up late. 8am for our 9:15 service. But God had a plan for it all…it was Youth Sunday! What a perfect time for a non churched youth to come to church! She saw middle school & high school kids singing, playing in the band, & worshipping God. It was great. She was barefoot in the isle, jumping with the other teens. She didn’t know what or why they were singing but she joined in & had fun. She asked to come back every Sunday. We explained that Youth Sunday occurred once a year but we would love to have her come & go to the Warehouse, the meeting place for youth services.

Sunday afternoon we took her to Golden Corral to celebrate her birthday (which I personally can not STAND but it wasn’t my birthday). She loved it. A dear friend came over to help me wash, dry & flat iron her hair which she also loved. We went to small group & all the kids sang happy birthday to her which made her feel really special. I arranged to meet her mom for a few minutes so we could take some pictures of her & her mom together as she didn’t have any pictures of her family.

I was also able to talk to her mom for a few minutes. Wow. Found out her daughter was the product of rape & abuse. Her mother later married & had 3 other children. The father that our foster daughter knew was not her biological father but her mom never told her that. (Although it might be good for her to know as he is allowing her to stay in foster care when he COULD have her in his care).  The girls’ mother went on to tell me her hopeless story. Near homeless, jobless, about to be carless, she dropped out of school when she was 16 & depended on her about to be ex-husband, for the past 13 years. She suffered from depression having kids back to back & at one time attempted suicide. Her daughter had lied & exaggerated to people at school her home situation & she was taken away from her. Even after her daughter told the judge she had not been truthful the court deemed her mother unfit given her past history of depression & attempted suicide. A heart wrenching, horrific story with a sweet girl stuck in the middle. Her mom said she wanted her back but I’m not sure she has the fight left in her. As the tears welled up in the mothers eyes I felt like I was looking at myself. If it had not been for the mercy of God I could have ended up in the same predicament that this woman was facing. She was hopeless. Even if she got her daughter back she felt nothing but despair as she had no way to provide for their needs. DJ & I are proponents of healthy families & I offered to help her get her daughter back. The foster care system is no place for an adolescent child. A family will tolerate the hormones, drama & attitudes but the fostercare system will not be as forgiving.  The mother hugged me & thanked me for showing so much love to her daughter. Jeremiah 29:11-13 came to mind as I prayed with her. “For I know the plans I have for You, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you a hope & a future. Then you will call upon me & come & pray to me & I will listen to you. You will seek Me & find Me when you seek me with your whole heart.” We drove home with only a few tears that night.

Monday morning I went to physical therapy at 6am & was home to make breakfast for the kids. Our foster daughter kept asking for DJ to take her to school & remembering my own deceitful youth, I knew she was not planning on adhering to her punishment of walking in the front doors of the school. I voiced this concern to DJ & he opted to let me take her to school. Sure enough, I dropped her off at the front, watching her walk all the way to the door & then she took off running down the sidewalk, behind the school & into the apartment building complex. I called after her, yet she ran faster. I drove to watch her flee & my heart broke. I knew I had done the same thing to my Lord time & time again yet He always came after me, He never let me go. He allowed me to make my own bad decisions yet His love never faltered. He never ‘kicked me to the curb’ because of my rebellion. Oh the mercy & the grace that always followed after me! I never felt His love for me as real as I did watching her beautiful head of hair bob in the wind as she ran in the opposite direction of her school. I was hurt & angered by her actions. I truly felt like I had given her everything & anything that she could have possibly needed & much of what she wanted & this is how she repaid me?!? I went home to pack her belongings. It was confirmation that as much as I wanted to rescue this girl from the dismal state that she was in, I literally could NOT run after her & it would cost me more than I was willing to sacrifice. DJ had made it abundantly clear that he did NOT want to be raising our grandchild in the following year if something tragic should occur. Lord knows I didn’t want that scenario playing out…but my heart, oh my heart! The flight to her female friends house reminded me that the situation was bigger than what I could give. It was motivation to help me find ways to fix our broken foster care system, to help kids find adoptive families long before they were “unadoptable”.

I packed her bags & went to get the pictures of her mom developed. Her birthday present came in (love Amazon Prime!) & I put it in a bag that she is not to open until her birthday on the 15^th. I picked up the boys from school so they could say goodbye. We hugged her, took 1 last picture & said we’d pick her up next Sunday for church.

So did I make a life-changing difference in this girls’ life in a week? I may never know. I loved her when she was not very loveable & tried to be a reflection of Jesus but knew that I failed miserably when it came to truly reflecting the Son. There were so many needs & so little that I could actually do. The one thing I did learn is how much MORE I need to pray. I need to really pray for the needs of the people. There is a lot of brokenness around me, a lot of people without Hope.  I need to pray more & proclaim the Truth more. More of Him, less of Me, that’s what I learned in this moment of time.

I didn’t post this last night & of course God is always moving & working…a neighbor friend of mine called me this morning asking me to watch her son for as long as I could as she needs to go to the hospital for mental illness. I said yes, prayed with her & changed the sheets in the foster child’s room. I have no idea what the plan is for my life or for these kids that are coming through our doors but I am willing to be a vessel of honor used for His glory. Keep us in your prayers as the battle rages on. It is comforting to know that we WILL have the VICTORY in the end! 

Rough Day

Sunday, March 4, was a hard day for me. I was in so much pain.

I forced myself to get up & go to church but cried most of the time as I felt so hopeless. We had our guest pastor/soon to be part of the church leadership team, Mitchell Lee, preach. He helped me realign my thoughts on the truths of scripture & not the lies the devil was trying to feed me. It wasn’t a death sentence, RSD, just a life-altering sentence. And maybe all my doctors & specialists were wrong. But I’ve been in healthcare for awhile now & knew they were all thinking RSD but no one wanted to explain it or give that diagnosis. Sunday was a dark day for me emotionally. I was tired of being dependent on my wonderful husband to take care of me, the kids, all our needs. I knew he was supportive but tired too. I tried to go to church with just a crutch as people would jokingly ask DJ what he was doing to me & I could see it hurting him each time. He would never hurt me, he lives to protect & care for me. Jokes like that cut deep into the pride of my dear husband but he would laugh it off & only I could see the pain it caused.

So I tried to be less conspicuous with my ailments & used just one crutch, no wrist or ankle boot. After all, nothing was broken, I was better, it just hurt. And then I fell. I tried to get out of the car when my leg went numb, I couldn’t catch myself with my still very sore wrist  & I collapsed. I may not have been a star athlete but I have always considered myself an athlete. That was not a glorious moment in time for me.

DJ scooped me up & carried me to bed. My sons were worried as I was crying.  Crying cause it hurt, crying because of the loss, lots of tears. I probably needed a good cry. Being a mom of all boys DJ has discouraged ‘crying for no reason’ as we want them to be manly men, not wimps. I want them to be sensitive to the needs around them & take action. I want them to feel free to cry for things that would break God’s heart & when they were truly in pain but crying because they had a bad day or things weren’t right seemed like poor reasons for men to cry. I'm raising men, leaders of tomorrow. As their mother they imitate me often & learn my mannerisms.  They have a wonderful manly example of a father yet they were with me for a large portion of they day thus they picked up on my ways. So I altered my “girly emotions” so show them better ways of responding to life’s challenges. Yet I lied in the bed, crying. Sunday was hard. 

What is RSD to Me?

What is RSD to me?

A very grim diagnosis, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, if this was indeed what I had. A chronic condition for which there was no cure & possibly a permanent disability. RSD was not cool, not cool at all. What was I supposed to do with a diagnosis like that?!?! I have 3 active boys, we're trying to adopt, I'm a critical care RN, and I enjoy all sports & outdoor activities. What do you mean I might not be able to use my leg? I might live in chronic pain as long as I remain on this earth. Needless to say, none of my specialists wanted to be the one to give me that diagnosis. Everyone looked & re- looked over all my scans & tests for them all to be negative. Negative is supposed to be a good thing in medicine. Except when you have a diagnosis based on what isn't.
I sought a second opinion as Dr. Gor seemed stumped. My second opinion doctor gave me a new narcotic, Nucynta, & started me on physical therapy. Basically I needed to regain strength & usage in my leg. It would feel like it was broken but it wasn’t. Sometimes my leg is strong, but other times it goes numb & I can barely lift it. I try to pace myself knowing that I have an entire day to get through. I’ve slowed down a lot. No PTA or afterschool activities for the boys, I am just trying to get through the day. I am encouraged by Lamentations 3:22-26:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

23They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

24I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

25The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

26it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

What is RSD?

http://www.rsdawareness.com/whatisrsd.htm
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/reflex_sympathetic_dystrophy/detail_reflex_sympathetic_dystrophy.htm

Joy Comes in the Morning!

March 5

Monday, March 5, was a new day. I got up & went to my orthopedist for him to not even touch my foot but say, “it looks like RSD, Miss Jordan, I am so sorry. You’ve heard of RSD? I’ll refer you to a pain specialist; it’s outside of what I can do for you. Again, I am so very sorry, please give your regards to your husband.” 

But I had made peace with an RSD diagnosis just the day before so although his words should’ve made me distraught I was surprisingly calm. God is good, I am so thankful for all the friends & family who have prayed for me during this time. While I was still in the office the pediatrician calls to tell me that Tyson’s throat culture came back positive! Wait a minute, I kept him home, Thursday & Friday, took him to the doctor on Friday, they said he didn’t have strep & to manage his fever at home. He was better on Saturday & Sunday; I just gave him a dose of Tylenol for a headache but no fevers Sat or Sunday. Here it is MONDAY, he’s AT SCHOOL, & he has strep?!? 

Great. So I get a prescription for him & go to the MVA to get a disability tag on my car. I can drive but not really long distances as my foot seems to go numb when it isn’t elevated.  (But there’s nothing wrong? How frustrating!) Anyway, I make it to the MVA & Taylor manages to fall backwards out of his seat. Of course I can’t catch him on crutches, which I use to minimize my pain while I’m out, & he crashes to the floor unharmed only startled (that boy has his guardian angels jumping through hoops to protect him!)  I got my tags, picked up Tyson’s medicine & waited for him to get home from school as he only had an hour left so no real need for me to go pick him up. He had a huge snack, gave him his medicine, about an hour later he breaks out in a rash on his face, neck & shoulders & was crying for unknown reasons. He put himself in bed @ 6:45pm not to get up until 7am the next morning.

 Meanwhile I realized I missed a call from Kids Peace, our foster to adopt agency that we’re a part of. I think it was about 2pm, while I was waiting for the kids to get home from school. She had a few things to say about a possible adoption case that we are hoping we will be chosen for coming up this month & another teenage girl that needed respite care for a few days. 

Respite care? We did NOT sign up for respite care! Respite care is a temporary placement for foster kids who need an immediate placement for some reason while a more permanent placement is being found. They called us because we live in Columbia & the girl needed a place to stay in Howard County so she could continue to go to school.  

At first I thought, “I can NOT do this! I’m injured, Tyson’s sick, DJ is going to be gone all week (he has school Monday nights until 10:30pm, Super Tuesday receptions, home Wednesday night, Thursday Men’s Bible Study & then conference Friday & Saturday.” The case worker on the phone said she would probably be with us through the end of the week.  But a verse in Esther came to my mind. Esther was unsure of what to do & her wise Uncle Mordecai said to her, “Perhaps you are here for such a time as this.” And I thought, “Ok, God, this wasn’t what I had in mind. A teenager for a week? But it is what You have in mind so give me strength to do all that I need to do as I am here, at home, NOT working, for such a time as this.” And He gave me the peace to tell the social worker to bring her here! (I did call my husband first & he gave his blessing as well)

So now I have a teenage foster daughter! She has been a joy thus far. To protect her identity I can’t post photos or give her name but we are all enjoying this new world of lots of clothes & hour long prep for middle school. J

Please continue to pray as Tyson developed a rash last night (think he’s allergic to his medication) & we are in a period of transition here. I have appointments for acupuncture & other alternative medicine therapies as Western medicine has few answers for me. I am doing physical therapy twice a week for my foot & once a week for my hand with improved strength in my hand for which I am thankful. I cannot begin to acknowledge all the people who have cooked, done laundry, picked up my kids, substituted for me in preschool & Sunday school, prayed with me & encouraged my spirits. Dear friends & family, I love you so! This Journey of faith is an adventure.

I will try to post again on Friday, March 9, 2012.

So What Happened to Glorya's Foot?

What’s Up with Glorya’s foot?

Another, ‘only I could do it’ kind of stories. It was the first week of January, January 5th I believe. I had my hand in a cast & reached to get a shirt out of my hubby’s drawer & I pulled it out too fast. Since my one hand was in a cast I couldn’t catch it & it fell on my foot. OUCH! It really hurt the top of my foot but then I couldn’t bear weight on my foot to go get some ice so I sent one of the kids. I sat on the bed & looked at the bottom of my foot. Not a pretty sight. I could see a tendon rolled like a ball in the middle of my foot & I thought to myself, “Great! I just ruptured my plantar fascia! I can’t believe I dropped a DRAWER & it RUPTURED the tendon!?!?” I was mostly just mad. I didn’t bother going to the hospital that night because I knew I needed to be seen by a foot guy so I waited until the next day to call my wonderful podiatrist, Dr. Gor. He’s so down-to-earth & really attentive; he called me back & scheduled an appointment. He told me to stay off of it & rest. That’s all I needed to do.

Well, I kind of listened. I went to North Carolina to visit my dear old childhood friend, Alisa Barnes. I had already booked the flight before I ruptured the ligament & I figured I’d get more rest NOT chasing my kids & opted to watch her adorable two kids & spend time with my bestie. We had a glorious time! Shopping & dinner & shopping! I slept like a baby in our hotel. It was wonderful. But I was doing a lot of shopping & therefore a lot of walking when I really wasn’t supposed to be walking (and I didn’t bring my crutches b/c it was too hard to drag a bag & be on crutches.) Looking back I see that this was probably not the best idea. I came home with my foot aching worse than ever! But I got a desperately needed Mommy break so I got an orthotic boot & literally stayed off it for weeks.

Back to the Hand

3 weeks after I had my wrist cast on I returned to get the cast off & I had a bad feeling. My hand was hurting more than it did before I had the cast on! I figured it was because I was using crutches with a cast & crutches are not designed for people in casts.  They cut off my cast & the pain was excruciating. So they casted me & I had a new cast for an additional 3 weeks. Ugh. I knew it was coming but one could hope right?

About this time an angel of mercy, Cheryl Dudek, brought me a Roll About, this wonderful scooter that enables me to have more mobility but no pressure on my hand! Hallelujah! It was like Christmas Morning when she brought me that thing! What a wonderful gift.

3 more weeks pass & I got my wrist cast off, I still can’t walk but my hand is free. Very sore but now I just needed Physical Therapy and my hand should be as good as new. Only problem was I had numbness & tingling in my hand, foot & up my leg. The increase in pain & numbness was concerning for me & my doctors.  We were concerned that it could be something vascular as my family has a history of clotting disorders. My 30 year old younger brother, Bill, developed 3 blood clots & a pulmonary embolism after arthroscopic shoulder surgery, a very rare complication in someone his age. After his life-threatening ordeal we discovered a disturbing number of relatives on my father’s side who suffered from clotting disorders, many of them young & otherwise healthy. Even now my brother remains on 15 mg of Coumadin, a blood-thinning medication. 15 mg is a lot by the way. Coumadin dosage depends on each person’s individual blood but many people are reach therapeutic levels on dosages around 5-7 mg. When he told me he was on 15 mg of Coumadin to be therapeutic I was pretty concerned that my blood might be as thick as syrup as well.  As soon as I told Dr. Gor about my brother’s situation I got an ultrasound to rule out a blood clot in my leg. It was negative.

The pain increased in my foot & we thought maybe it was broken or something else was damaged. Thus I began a road of Cat Scans, MRI’s, arterial studies, ultrasounds & an EXCRUCIATING nerve conduction study with NO ANSWERS. No one could tell me why my foot would get blue & cold & numb & why my pain got worse the more I rested. Each specialist kept saying something about RSD under their breath or as a side comment. I had never heard of RSD. What in the world where they talking about? And why did none of my specialists want to give me the diagnosis?

Any prudent nurse will tell you that if they do not know something they will look it up & find the answer. So I looked it up. RSD-Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy.  We’ve all heard the saying, “Ignorance is Bliss” well, this was definitely one of those times when ignorance was bliss & knowing was well, not.

Glorya's Health-from the Beginning

What’s Up with Glorya?

Part 1-How it Started

On 12/26/11 I broke my hand.  We woke up the day after Christmas at my mother-in-law’s big beautiful house in Ashton, VA. The 5 boy cousins had slept in the basement & my middle son, Tyson, came upstairs complaining of a headache. He doesn’t usually complain about physical ailments unless he’s really sick. I took his temperature & sure enough, he was sick. (It was over 102). I give him ibuprofen & put him in our room, which has its own bathroom to quarantine him from the rest of the kids. 

A few hours later my sister in law says that her son has a fever & was throwing up the night before.  Great. Not sure which came first my son’s fever or hers but I wasn’t as worried about the boys hanging out together.  Then my oldest son, Trey, says he doesn’t feel well…yet another fever. Trey was lying on the soft leather couch & all I could think of was, “there’s no way to sterilize a leather couch!” So I sent him upstairs after giving him some ibuprofen. I quarantined the 2 boys in the upstairs bedroom as I am suspecting strep throat. (We tend to get strep every couple of months.)

 But the DVD player in our room wasn’t working, and the TV wasn’t connected to a cable line so I went to another room to find a DVD player. All the other rooms had TV/DVD/Blu Ray combos so I carried the TV combo to the room. The boys were on the bed & couldn’t see the TV on the floor. So I moved the chaise, a lovely small couch at the end of our brass bed to put the TV on top. Well, unfortunately, the brass footboard was NOT connected to the frame of the bed & came banging down on my hand like a hammer on a nail. Ouch! It hurt but mommas keep moving, right? So I got them handled & went back downstairs to get ice for my hand & popsicles for my feverish boys.

Later that afternoon DJ took them to the doctor & they had strep throat. I finally was cancelled from work as I had been on call all morning. I’m a critical care RN & I was awaiting a phone call from the Open Heart unit at the hospital to see if a particular critical patient was still in need of individualized care. Not sure how the patient faired but it did turn out that they didn’t need me & clearly my kids did so all was well.

My hand continued to hurt over the next week…I worked two 12 hour shifts & at the end of the 2^nd one I was really hurting. More ice, a little rest, it still hurt. I went to my small group meeting, a bible study of a few families from our church, Grace Community Church in Fulton) & I was gingerly holding it while I got my food. My small group is made up of 3 female doctors, no, 4 female doctors, a lawyer, some high level military & government people etc. & so I had one of docs look at my hand. Julie was straightforward, “You already know there's a problem. You have point tenderness & pain despite ice & rest. You need to get it x-rayed.” I knew it was sore for a ridiculous amount of time (think it was 8 or 9 days since the incident). So we left small group & went to Righttime Urgent Care. (I later learned they placed a friendly bet on me returning to small group the next week in a cast) I probably should’ve just gone to the hospital. They said it wasn’t broken, gave me a splint & told me to follow up with an orthopedic in 3 days if it wasn’t better. So I went to work, with the splint, & it was still super sore. 

I follow up with the orthopedist & get another x-ray. He says, “You don’t have a fracture” & I say, “What about that?” pointing to a crack in my trapezoid bone. And he looks at it again, exclaiming, “I’ve NEVER seen this before! I have to show this to my colleague!”  So he hurries out the room to email it to a hand specialist. He comes back to report his findings to me. “So you did in fact break your trapezoid bone. I’ve never seen it & the hand specialist says he’s only seen it twice in his 20 years of practice!” Again, wonderful! I break a bone that’s not much bigger than a pea; all while moving furniture to protect the extended Jordan Household from strep throat. So they put me in a cast, purple of course. J