Victoria Justice Jordan

I want to start out apologizing for not updating this blog earlier. I have actually written it more than once but computer issues have prevented me from posting it. I do not want to appear like the 10 lepers that Jesus healed and only 1 came back to say "thank you." So, although this post is not as eloquent as I would like, it is a post of Thanksgiving for all that God has done in our lives.

Victoria Justice Jordan is officially a JORDAN!!!! 

Wow, what an incredible journey it has been. 

I know God has orchestrated our lives to belong together & only He sees the finished product... the beautiful tapestry that is woven through the threads of our lives.

We started attending foster care training classes in July 2011. Later that month, on July 26, 2011, Victoria was born (we didn't know who she was at the time). We finished our initial classes the same weekend she was placed into foster care with her foster mom. We would spend the next year completing our home study, providing respite care for foster youth & being passed over for child after child. It was a very long, emotional process.

But finally, the Delaware Family Court system chose us on October 25, 2012 (the day after my birthday) to be the foster-to-adopt parents to a frightened 15-month-old baby girl.

She was 18 lbs, not walking, not talking, not feeding herself, not responding much to the world around her. She started her visits with us in November 2012. We were all so excited to bring her home to love on our little girl to be. Within a week, she was walking. Within a few more weeks she was feeding herself & using a sippy-cup. We taught her sign language and she learned quickly how to communicate her needs & many of her wants. Her brothers waited on her & she learned to trust us.

In December 2012, there was a mix-up about how long she could ‘visit’ with us while her Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) agreement was being finalized. An ICPC is needed for a cross-state foster placement or adoption. We were actually asked by our agency (KidsPeace) to send her back home the day after Christmas for possibly 6-9 months while we waited on paperwork.

 That was devastating for me. I felt like all the progress we made with her would be lost.

 My heart ached for my boys who might not see their sister for 6 months due to a technicality. Praise be to God DJ had some friends in high places that were able to find our ICPC paperwork (it was sent to DC instead of DE!) & expedite her foster care placement with us so we did NOT have to take her back to her previous foster home.

January through May 2013 we would make biweekly visits to Delaware for Tori to visit with her birth parents. Although I didn’t appreciate driving back and forth so often (my foot/leg was better but I remained in a chronic state of pain) & the trauma it caused Tori to have to visit with people she did not “know” was difficult at best, I was able to see God’s plan through that storm. I was able to visit with my dear sister-in-law, Donna Taylor, & sweet nieces often as they had just moved to Delaware. Donna’s family had over 50 foster children in their home & adopted 7 of them. 

As a sibling to foster & adopted children, Donna provided me with more knowledge than a library of books & countless social workers ever could have. 

I was able to encourage her as she was in a new place with young kids, working on building a strong, healthy marriage & family. It truly was exactly what we both needed.

Tori’s parental rights were finally terminated on May 7th at the Delaware Family Court & she was legally free to adopt at that time. We still needed to wait 6 months for her adoption (this is another foster-to-adopt rule). Although she came to us in November 2012, her official placement wasn’t until February 2013, pushing her adoption back to August 2013. We also had monthly visits with a social worker from our agency, KidsPeace. KidsPeace is a therapeutic foster care agency that doesn’t typically do adoptions, but they did work with our family & cared for us in a special way that we will always be grateful for.

We had a few hiccups in August 2013 (the month our adoption was supposed to be finalized). In addition, we moved to a new house at the end of August, Trey started a private middle school 2 days after we moved, & I started homeschooling the other 3 kids a few weeks later. We still owned our home in Columbia & we were working to rent it out. DJ was starting his last semester in grad school at Johns Hopkins & he was appointed to a state wide board. We had a ton going on.

Our adoption paperwork got lost, wasn’t filed, etc, etc, etc but it all got worked out. Victoria Justice Jordan's adoption was official on September 12, 2013. On October 19th, we had a child dedication service for her at our new home in Woodbridge, VA with many friends & family gathered & my father in law, Darrell Jordan Sr, blessing her. 

We received a special letter from the Governor of Virginia that I read with tears of joy that so succinctly said all that I had hoped & prayed for over the past few years. It read,

"Dear Tori, I was very happy to hear about your adoption. Your story is a beautiful one, & I am glad that you & the Jordan family found each other. Your mom & dad love you very much, and are very lucky to have you as their daughter. I know you will be a good sister to Trey, Tyson, & Taylor too. I believe God has a great plan for your life. I look forward to hearing about how you are doing at home & at school. Best wishes to you on this great milestone!” 

Warm Regards, Governor Bob McDonnell 

The adoption of Tori is complete, but her story is only beginning. I know that God has amazing things in store for Victoria Justice Jordan. Because of Tori’s young age, we were given the option to name her (since her plan from 6 weeks old was adoption, she was called “Baby” by her original foster mom for most of her first 15 months of life). We let Trey help name his little sister. He choose Victoria Justice Jordan & we would call her Tori. We really liked his choice & the very next day, Pastor Mitchel Lee from Grace Community Church in Fulton, MD preached on justice. Here is his definition of biblical justice, which we pray Victoria is able to live out.

Biblical Justice- “Acting out the heart of God by obeying God, to bring about the deliverance and protection of God, to people made in the image of God, all for the glory of God!”

We are so very thankful for our baby girl (now 3 feet tall & 30 lbs!), our family & friends who have prayed for us, encouraged us, brought us meals, clothes, gifts & walked with us down this incredible road. The journey has only begun & we still covet your prayers, friendship & support. We love you.

Giving God Glory for He is Worthy,

~DJ, Glorya, Trey, Tyson, Taylor & Tori Jordan~ 

Free At Last!

Our sweet baby girl is free to adopt!

We will officially adopt her in August after she has been legally placed in our care for 6 months. 

What a journey it has been! I will say that her Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) a few weeks ago went very quickly. As advised by Tori’s lawyer, we collected a few pictures of 22-month old, Tori, smiling & having fun over the past few months to be shown at the hearing. She is a happy little girl. She loves to sing, dance, jump & twirl in front of the mirror in pretty dresses (to which my husband was astonished that her behavior was in fact, innate). The pictures of Tori’s bright eyes & dimpled chocolate cheeks shown at the hearing were the FIRST time her birth parents had seen her smile. Heartbreaking as it was, her brilliant smile helped them to quickly relinquish their rights with the agreement that we send pictures and updates via the social worker as she grows up.

Adoption is such a beautiful thing, you know?

A child may come from an absolutely abysmal situation. The child suffers neglect & abuse so great that the government is forced to do something about it. So the child is taken from the only environment they know, parents they love & given to another family. That process is hard on the child, confusing & painful. The new family loves the child so much & the child begins to trust & feel safe in the new home. But adoption is so much more than love & a safe place to call home, adoption is becoming a member of a family. A bond that is not easily broken. When one is adopted they become an heir, entitled to all the benefits of being a part of that family. What a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure,” Ephesians 1:5 NLT.

We are all lost in a world of darkness. 

We aren’t capable of helping ourselves or getting out of our sin. We cry for help, admit that we are wrong & in need of a Savior, Jesus Christ. He not only cleans us up and removes us from the appalling state of our sin; He also adopts us as heirs of His royal kingdom! What other god does that? Is there another god that desires a relationship with us? 

We become sons & daughters, joint heirs with Christ!

Romans chapter 5 says, “God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. 21So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.  

When we were utterly helpless, Christ (a perfect sacrifice) came at just the right time and died for us sinners.

7 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 BUT GOD showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, He will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. 10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of His Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. 

So when people ask why we adopt it was for many reasons. 

Yes, we desired a little girl in our family. Yes, we love children & wanted to change the life of one if we could. Yes, pregnancy & I do NOT get along. But most importantly, we adopt because it reflects the heart of God. “…You received God’s Spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, “Abba, Father.” 16For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. 17And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory,” Romans 8:15-17.

Salvation in Christ is the true rags to riches story. God adopted us when we were lost in our trespasses and sins. He forgave us, restored us & made us royalty through His Son. 

Adoption is the gospel & can be proclaimed without saying a word.

Our Adoption Journey

It has been almost a year since I last wrote an entry and I apologize for not keeping everyone up-to-date on the events in the Jordan household.

I am walking for which I am thankful. I still have CRPS/RSD, which can be a chronic condition, but with medications I am able to manage my pain. I don’t exactly like getting epidural shots, being on narcotics and other medications, but it is allowing me to be more functional. I have not returned to work as a critical care nurse as I still don’t know if I could be on my feet for 12 hrs. I am loving time with my family and our newest addition, our baby girl!!!! 

Wow, what a roller coaster ride it has been!

Our adoption process has been just as difficult as my pregnancies. I may not have required bedrest or multiple trips to the ER because I passed out, but it has been a whirlwind of emotions that has continued for well over 9 months!

I think we had 5 other possible placements that fell through for one reason or another before we got our precious baby girl, we’ll call her Victoria Justice (nicknamed "Tori"). We really wanted to adopt out of the fostercare system as there are so many African American children here in our country that truly need a home. It doesn’t cost money; in fact, many kids come with a stipend, but it is NOT for the faint of heart.

The paperwork, the time, the up and down emotions of “will they pick me?” is rough.

We got ‘Tori’ in November. Actually, we got a call the day after my birthday in October saying a judge picked our family for this little girl! Let me back up and explain this process.

There are children in the foster care system waiting for adoption. Only by the grace of God, our social worker found a girl that was under 5 years old that looked like her parental rights would be terminated soon. (Our expressed preference was a girl under the age of 5). Children whose parental rights have been terminated or plan to be terminated are available for adoption. A judge looks over 3 or 4 homestudies and then picks the homestudy that he/she thinks is in the best interest of the child at hand. 

An adoption homestudy is a detailed written report of your family that includes your autobiography, background, health history, physicals, financial statements, criminal background check/fingerprints, employment history, neighborhood, schools, other children and their physicals and feelings about adoption, several interviews with a social worker, fire escape plans, all your past history, the good, the bad and in between... it is INTENSE! It takes probably 3-6 months to complete it all. We went through KidPeace, an agency that primarily serves therapeutic foster care kids. KidsPeace contracts with the state to place many of their hard-to-place foster children. Because they are desperate for qualified foster parents, they also pay for the homestudy, which costs about $1500).

HOWEVER, because they paid for it... they OWN it!

Meaning, they can send it to whomever they choose. You do not own your homestudy if you don’t pay for it. Thankfully, our agency was willing to send it to other states when we’d hear information about kids being available. But they certainly did not have to. I would recommend if you are considering adoption to pay for and own your homestudy. It will allow you to move quickly should a child become available in your state or another area.

So the judge, with the influence of a team of social workers,  picks a family for the child based on the homestudy. We were passed over twice.  The third time, I only told one dear friend, as I was so discouraged. I asked her to pray for the court and for me, because my heart felt like it was in pieces. She encouraged me to not give up and that God would bring the perfect child for our family to our family in His timing. I really needed to hear her words.

How sweet it was to laugh and cry with her when we found out that the judge picked us that October day as the pre-adoptive family for 16 month old, Tori! 

I can't wait for you to meet her. She is an amazing little girl and a great joy to be with you. In my upcoming posts, I'll tell you more about our little Tori.