Our Adoption Journey

It has been almost a year since I last wrote an entry and I apologize for not keeping everyone up-to-date on the events in the Jordan household.

I am walking for which I am thankful. I still have CRPS/RSD, which can be a chronic condition, but with medications I am able to manage my pain. I don’t exactly like getting epidural shots, being on narcotics and other medications, but it is allowing me to be more functional. I have not returned to work as a critical care nurse as I still don’t know if I could be on my feet for 12 hrs. I am loving time with my family and our newest addition, our baby girl!!!! 

Wow, what a roller coaster ride it has been!

Our adoption process has been just as difficult as my pregnancies. I may not have required bedrest or multiple trips to the ER because I passed out, but it has been a whirlwind of emotions that has continued for well over 9 months!

I think we had 5 other possible placements that fell through for one reason or another before we got our precious baby girl, we’ll call her Victoria Justice (nicknamed "Tori"). We really wanted to adopt out of the fostercare system as there are so many African American children here in our country that truly need a home. It doesn’t cost money; in fact, many kids come with a stipend, but it is NOT for the faint of heart.

The paperwork, the time, the up and down emotions of “will they pick me?” is rough.

We got ‘Tori’ in November. Actually, we got a call the day after my birthday in October saying a judge picked our family for this little girl! Let me back up and explain this process.

There are children in the foster care system waiting for adoption. Only by the grace of God, our social worker found a girl that was under 5 years old that looked like her parental rights would be terminated soon. (Our expressed preference was a girl under the age of 5). Children whose parental rights have been terminated or plan to be terminated are available for adoption. A judge looks over 3 or 4 homestudies and then picks the homestudy that he/she thinks is in the best interest of the child at hand. 

An adoption homestudy is a detailed written report of your family that includes your autobiography, background, health history, physicals, financial statements, criminal background check/fingerprints, employment history, neighborhood, schools, other children and their physicals and feelings about adoption, several interviews with a social worker, fire escape plans, all your past history, the good, the bad and in between... it is INTENSE! It takes probably 3-6 months to complete it all. We went through KidPeace, an agency that primarily serves therapeutic foster care kids. KidsPeace contracts with the state to place many of their hard-to-place foster children. Because they are desperate for qualified foster parents, they also pay for the homestudy, which costs about $1500).

HOWEVER, because they paid for it... they OWN it!

Meaning, they can send it to whomever they choose. You do not own your homestudy if you don’t pay for it. Thankfully, our agency was willing to send it to other states when we’d hear information about kids being available. But they certainly did not have to. I would recommend if you are considering adoption to pay for and own your homestudy. It will allow you to move quickly should a child become available in your state or another area.

So the judge, with the influence of a team of social workers,  picks a family for the child based on the homestudy. We were passed over twice.  The third time, I only told one dear friend, as I was so discouraged. I asked her to pray for the court and for me, because my heart felt like it was in pieces. She encouraged me to not give up and that God would bring the perfect child for our family to our family in His timing. I really needed to hear her words.

How sweet it was to laugh and cry with her when we found out that the judge picked us that October day as the pre-adoptive family for 16 month old, Tori! 

I can't wait for you to meet her. She is an amazing little girl and a great joy to be with you. In my upcoming posts, I'll tell you more about our little Tori.