Victoria Justice Jordan

I want to start out apologizing for not updating this blog earlier. I have actually written it more than once but computer issues have prevented me from posting it. I do not want to appear like the 10 lepers that Jesus healed and only 1 came back to say "thank you." So, although this post is not as eloquent as I would like, it is a post of Thanksgiving for all that God has done in our lives.

Victoria Justice Jordan is officially a JORDAN!!!! 

Wow, what an incredible journey it has been. 

I know God has orchestrated our lives to belong together & only He sees the finished product... the beautiful tapestry that is woven through the threads of our lives.

We started attending foster care training classes in July 2011. Later that month, on July 26, 2011, Victoria was born (we didn't know who she was at the time). We finished our initial classes the same weekend she was placed into foster care with her foster mom. We would spend the next year completing our home study, providing respite care for foster youth & being passed over for child after child. It was a very long, emotional process.

But finally, the Delaware Family Court system chose us on October 25, 2012 (the day after my birthday) to be the foster-to-adopt parents to a frightened 15-month-old baby girl.

She was 18 lbs, not walking, not talking, not feeding herself, not responding much to the world around her. She started her visits with us in November 2012. We were all so excited to bring her home to love on our little girl to be. Within a week, she was walking. Within a few more weeks she was feeding herself & using a sippy-cup. We taught her sign language and she learned quickly how to communicate her needs & many of her wants. Her brothers waited on her & she learned to trust us.

In December 2012, there was a mix-up about how long she could ‘visit’ with us while her Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) agreement was being finalized. An ICPC is needed for a cross-state foster placement or adoption. We were actually asked by our agency (KidsPeace) to send her back home the day after Christmas for possibly 6-9 months while we waited on paperwork.

 That was devastating for me. I felt like all the progress we made with her would be lost.

 My heart ached for my boys who might not see their sister for 6 months due to a technicality. Praise be to God DJ had some friends in high places that were able to find our ICPC paperwork (it was sent to DC instead of DE!) & expedite her foster care placement with us so we did NOT have to take her back to her previous foster home.

January through May 2013 we would make biweekly visits to Delaware for Tori to visit with her birth parents. Although I didn’t appreciate driving back and forth so often (my foot/leg was better but I remained in a chronic state of pain) & the trauma it caused Tori to have to visit with people she did not “know” was difficult at best, I was able to see God’s plan through that storm. I was able to visit with my dear sister-in-law, Donna Taylor, & sweet nieces often as they had just moved to Delaware. Donna’s family had over 50 foster children in their home & adopted 7 of them. 

As a sibling to foster & adopted children, Donna provided me with more knowledge than a library of books & countless social workers ever could have. 

I was able to encourage her as she was in a new place with young kids, working on building a strong, healthy marriage & family. It truly was exactly what we both needed.

Tori’s parental rights were finally terminated on May 7th at the Delaware Family Court & she was legally free to adopt at that time. We still needed to wait 6 months for her adoption (this is another foster-to-adopt rule). Although she came to us in November 2012, her official placement wasn’t until February 2013, pushing her adoption back to August 2013. We also had monthly visits with a social worker from our agency, KidsPeace. KidsPeace is a therapeutic foster care agency that doesn’t typically do adoptions, but they did work with our family & cared for us in a special way that we will always be grateful for.

We had a few hiccups in August 2013 (the month our adoption was supposed to be finalized). In addition, we moved to a new house at the end of August, Trey started a private middle school 2 days after we moved, & I started homeschooling the other 3 kids a few weeks later. We still owned our home in Columbia & we were working to rent it out. DJ was starting his last semester in grad school at Johns Hopkins & he was appointed to a state wide board. We had a ton going on.

Our adoption paperwork got lost, wasn’t filed, etc, etc, etc but it all got worked out. Victoria Justice Jordan's adoption was official on September 12, 2013. On October 19th, we had a child dedication service for her at our new home in Woodbridge, VA with many friends & family gathered & my father in law, Darrell Jordan Sr, blessing her. 

We received a special letter from the Governor of Virginia that I read with tears of joy that so succinctly said all that I had hoped & prayed for over the past few years. It read,

"Dear Tori, I was very happy to hear about your adoption. Your story is a beautiful one, & I am glad that you & the Jordan family found each other. Your mom & dad love you very much, and are very lucky to have you as their daughter. I know you will be a good sister to Trey, Tyson, & Taylor too. I believe God has a great plan for your life. I look forward to hearing about how you are doing at home & at school. Best wishes to you on this great milestone!” 

Warm Regards, Governor Bob McDonnell 

The adoption of Tori is complete, but her story is only beginning. I know that God has amazing things in store for Victoria Justice Jordan. Because of Tori’s young age, we were given the option to name her (since her plan from 6 weeks old was adoption, she was called “Baby” by her original foster mom for most of her first 15 months of life). We let Trey help name his little sister. He choose Victoria Justice Jordan & we would call her Tori. We really liked his choice & the very next day, Pastor Mitchel Lee from Grace Community Church in Fulton, MD preached on justice. Here is his definition of biblical justice, which we pray Victoria is able to live out.

Biblical Justice- “Acting out the heart of God by obeying God, to bring about the deliverance and protection of God, to people made in the image of God, all for the glory of God!”

We are so very thankful for our baby girl (now 3 feet tall & 30 lbs!), our family & friends who have prayed for us, encouraged us, brought us meals, clothes, gifts & walked with us down this incredible road. The journey has only begun & we still covet your prayers, friendship & support. We love you.

Giving God Glory for He is Worthy,

~DJ, Glorya, Trey, Tyson, Taylor & Tori Jordan~ 

Free At Last!

Our sweet baby girl is free to adopt!

We will officially adopt her in August after she has been legally placed in our care for 6 months. 

What a journey it has been! I will say that her Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) a few weeks ago went very quickly. As advised by Tori’s lawyer, we collected a few pictures of 22-month old, Tori, smiling & having fun over the past few months to be shown at the hearing. She is a happy little girl. She loves to sing, dance, jump & twirl in front of the mirror in pretty dresses (to which my husband was astonished that her behavior was in fact, innate). The pictures of Tori’s bright eyes & dimpled chocolate cheeks shown at the hearing were the FIRST time her birth parents had seen her smile. Heartbreaking as it was, her brilliant smile helped them to quickly relinquish their rights with the agreement that we send pictures and updates via the social worker as she grows up.

Adoption is such a beautiful thing, you know?

A child may come from an absolutely abysmal situation. The child suffers neglect & abuse so great that the government is forced to do something about it. So the child is taken from the only environment they know, parents they love & given to another family. That process is hard on the child, confusing & painful. The new family loves the child so much & the child begins to trust & feel safe in the new home. But adoption is so much more than love & a safe place to call home, adoption is becoming a member of a family. A bond that is not easily broken. When one is adopted they become an heir, entitled to all the benefits of being a part of that family. What a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure,” Ephesians 1:5 NLT.

We are all lost in a world of darkness. 

We aren’t capable of helping ourselves or getting out of our sin. We cry for help, admit that we are wrong & in need of a Savior, Jesus Christ. He not only cleans us up and removes us from the appalling state of our sin; He also adopts us as heirs of His royal kingdom! What other god does that? Is there another god that desires a relationship with us? 

We become sons & daughters, joint heirs with Christ!

Romans chapter 5 says, “God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. 21So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.  

When we were utterly helpless, Christ (a perfect sacrifice) came at just the right time and died for us sinners.

7 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. 8 BUT GOD showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9 And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, He will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. 10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of His Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. 

So when people ask why we adopt it was for many reasons. 

Yes, we desired a little girl in our family. Yes, we love children & wanted to change the life of one if we could. Yes, pregnancy & I do NOT get along. But most importantly, we adopt because it reflects the heart of God. “…You received God’s Spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, “Abba, Father.” 16For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. 17And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory,” Romans 8:15-17.

Salvation in Christ is the true rags to riches story. God adopted us when we were lost in our trespasses and sins. He forgave us, restored us & made us royalty through His Son. 

Adoption is the gospel & can be proclaimed without saying a word.

Our Adoption Journey

It has been almost a year since I last wrote an entry and I apologize for not keeping everyone up-to-date on the events in the Jordan household.

I am walking for which I am thankful. I still have CRPS/RSD, which can be a chronic condition, but with medications I am able to manage my pain. I don’t exactly like getting epidural shots, being on narcotics and other medications, but it is allowing me to be more functional. I have not returned to work as a critical care nurse as I still don’t know if I could be on my feet for 12 hrs. I am loving time with my family and our newest addition, our baby girl!!!! 

Wow, what a roller coaster ride it has been!

Our adoption process has been just as difficult as my pregnancies. I may not have required bedrest or multiple trips to the ER because I passed out, but it has been a whirlwind of emotions that has continued for well over 9 months!

I think we had 5 other possible placements that fell through for one reason or another before we got our precious baby girl, we’ll call her Victoria Justice (nicknamed "Tori"). We really wanted to adopt out of the fostercare system as there are so many African American children here in our country that truly need a home. It doesn’t cost money; in fact, many kids come with a stipend, but it is NOT for the faint of heart.

The paperwork, the time, the up and down emotions of “will they pick me?” is rough.

We got ‘Tori’ in November. Actually, we got a call the day after my birthday in October saying a judge picked our family for this little girl! Let me back up and explain this process.

There are children in the foster care system waiting for adoption. Only by the grace of God, our social worker found a girl that was under 5 years old that looked like her parental rights would be terminated soon. (Our expressed preference was a girl under the age of 5). Children whose parental rights have been terminated or plan to be terminated are available for adoption. A judge looks over 3 or 4 homestudies and then picks the homestudy that he/she thinks is in the best interest of the child at hand. 

An adoption homestudy is a detailed written report of your family that includes your autobiography, background, health history, physicals, financial statements, criminal background check/fingerprints, employment history, neighborhood, schools, other children and their physicals and feelings about adoption, several interviews with a social worker, fire escape plans, all your past history, the good, the bad and in between... it is INTENSE! It takes probably 3-6 months to complete it all. We went through KidPeace, an agency that primarily serves therapeutic foster care kids. KidsPeace contracts with the state to place many of their hard-to-place foster children. Because they are desperate for qualified foster parents, they also pay for the homestudy, which costs about $1500).

HOWEVER, because they paid for it... they OWN it!

Meaning, they can send it to whomever they choose. You do not own your homestudy if you don’t pay for it. Thankfully, our agency was willing to send it to other states when we’d hear information about kids being available. But they certainly did not have to. I would recommend if you are considering adoption to pay for and own your homestudy. It will allow you to move quickly should a child become available in your state or another area.

So the judge, with the influence of a team of social workers,  picks a family for the child based on the homestudy. We were passed over twice.  The third time, I only told one dear friend, as I was so discouraged. I asked her to pray for the court and for me, because my heart felt like it was in pieces. She encouraged me to not give up and that God would bring the perfect child for our family to our family in His timing. I really needed to hear her words.

How sweet it was to laugh and cry with her when we found out that the judge picked us that October day as the pre-adoptive family for 16 month old, Tori! 

I can't wait for you to meet her. She is an amazing little girl and a great joy to be with you. In my upcoming posts, I'll tell you more about our little Tori.

I Can Walk!

“I am the Lord, I have heard you calling. I am your God, I have seen your tears, I AM! I AM! Soon all will see My glory thru your weakness, soon all will know My Name throughout the land. I AM! I AM! I AM THE LORD!”

June 15, 2012 I went in to yet another doctor, Dr. Matsunaga, a local guy recommended to me by a friend at church. Having been to multiple doctors over the past 6 months that were unable to help me walk without severe pain I had little hope that his treatment would be effective. My husband had scheduled a trip to Deep Creek, just the two of us, for the weekend & I secretly prayed that I would be able to walk for our trip. Dr. Matsunaga is a pain specialist & he treats people with RSD (Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy) or its newer term CRPS (Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome). He said he was going to give me a shot in the region of my tailbone that was intended to stop the pain going down my leg into my foot. If it helped then my diagnosis would be CRPS & he could treat me with these shots of steroids, saline & pain medicine. He said I may need the shot a couple of times to get the pain message turned off & return to my previous level of function. He also said if it didn’t help immediately but felt better in a couple of days it was more of a lower back issue & the steroids were helping that. Either way, I should have a pain relief & a diagnosis.

I was a little skeptical because it sounded so simple. I lay on my stomach waiting for the injection hoping against hope that it would help. I began to feel a warm sensation down my leg & foot as the medication made its way into my system. I laid there for a few minutes & then he asked me to stand up. THE PAIN WAS GONE! I could stand (a little wobbly since I hadn’t walked in 6 months) but I stood on 1 foot, my right foot without pain. I couldn’t even believe it! I thanked Dr. Matsunaga & his assistants for their treatment with a polite hug & a grateful smile. DJ & I calmly walked out of the office & wept tears of joy in each other’s arms outside the office doors. Across the hall was a cancer treatment office & people looked at us with empathy. Even in the elevator, as kind people attempted to console me, I tried to explain that my tears were tears of joy not sadness, tears of relief from the constant disabling pain. We had finally found an answer, I had CRPS but there was a treatment & possibly a cure as the shots built upon one another if I went in as soon as I felt pain.

We drove home, I walked up the steps, I cried. We went to the pool to pick up the boys (a friend of mine was babysitting the boys at the pool)…I walked through the gate of the pool & embraced my boys. I cried as the boys leapt up & down saying, “Mom, you can WALK!” I took a little hand & walked back to the car & more tears fell. I had been holding in my fears & anxieties about my future in for so long & the tears came out everytime I did anything that I used to not be able to do without great pain.   

                DJ & I had a wonderful time in Deep Creek walking along the lake, enjoying God’s creation & each other. Since that time I have had another shot & scheduled for my 3^rd shot this week. I may not return to running & leaping in the immediate future but I am walking & able to care for my precious family.

Thank you all for your encouragement, kindness & prayers extended to me & my family through this whole ordeal. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

 I Samuel 12:24 “Be sure to fear the Lord & serve Him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.” He has done GREAT things for me! 

We are back on the adoption trail now & excited about what God has in store for us. I am not back to work as I am not sure I can stand for 12 hours just yet but I have been able to be the camp nurse for a few local church camps which has been just as good for me as it has been for my boys that attend. I have been enjoying my “legs” so much that I am not really on Facebook much or blogging often, however, I will update on our adoption journey. 

Remember to treasure each day for it is a gift from God, as is your family, friends & whatever health you may have. Cherish it all, make the most of each moment, WALK in your calling! 

This is Your Baby Girl...

I have had my share of challenges with my health over the past six months. I have had so many wonderful friends come alongside me through this difficult time that I am so humbled & grateful for their support. This past week I had one of my dear friends call me up to offer to take me to lunch. I know that seems like a small thing but the timing was ideal. I had fasted the night before for lab work (they took  11 tubes of blood) that morning, my preschooler was throwing a fit, the brakes on the van were squeaking not to mention the fact that I was hungry, irritable & in pain. I was practically in tears when she called & oh so thankful she did. We returned from lunch around 2pm. High schoolers were coming home from school & we saw this glowing, very pregnant girl walking up the street, backpack on, ankles swollen. We stopped & introduced ourselves. The girl was carrying a large volume of English Poetry in her hand & she spoke of her plans to graduate high school (in 2014). She told us she was having a girl & what all she was looking forward to in her future with her daughter. I offered to babysit so she could study as we exchanged contact information. She had such a sweet spirit. We prayed together briefly & she departed after a quick hug. As I watched her walk across the street, her dress swung freely in the light breeze, the Lord whispered to me, “This is your baby girl….oh & that is your mission field.”

No, I will NOT be adopting her daughter; her daughter will not live in my home for us to love & cherish. I will however, come alongside her & encourage her as she enters motherhood. I have been good at encouraging young mothers in the past & with the Lord’s help I will continue to exhort young women in motherhood.  I won’t say I didn’t cry a few tears when God told me this. It was a baby girl & I would be pouring into both her life & her mothers’ but she would not be mine in the terms that I had thought.

I have been in contact with the birth mother of the foster girl that was in our home a few months ago. She has a long way to go with the horrors that have happened to her & the demons she still wrestles with. She has been cleaning my bathrooms to earn a little gas money to go visit her daughter which has benefited us both-we get to talk each week, she gets some cash & my bathrooms are sparkling clean! (so clean that Taylor thought he didn’t need to wash his hands after using the bathroom because, ‘the bathroom is so clean that there are no more germs on the toilet!’ Thus he didn't need to wash, gotta love 4 yr old logic!) J

I also will NOT be going to Honduras on a medical mission trip this fall but the neighborhood across the street has a teenage mom, a mother battling severe mental illness, a group of kids that hangs out at my house often & many others that He has called me to be a part of if only I will obey the call to the mission field across the street.

My God really does have a sense of humor… “this is your baby girl…oh & that is your mission field.”

A Series of Unfortunate Events

I know I said I wasn’t really going to talk about my foot/leg issue unless I had great news & well, I have good news in that I was able to find a doctor, in Columbia, that treats chronic regional pain syndrome-CRPS (the current name for RSD). So that was really good, no more trips to Richmond, VA needed. The Pain Specialist increased some medications that I was already on & gave me three new meds to help manage my pain. “Finally”, I thought to myself, “I will finally not be in such horrible pain!” The very same day I came home from the doctor to find a lovely potted plant on my steps, a gift from my neighbor.  I felt like things were really looking up.

I excitedly packed my bag for a weekend with some girlfriends. We weren’t going anywhere, just a local hotel (so we could get some sleep) with girly activities planned-pedicures, pottery, & a play…it was going to be wonderful. Friday evening we went to dinner & then a movie. One of the ladies needed to go home the 1^st night to take her daughter to dance class in the morning so we dropped her off at her car. We sat chit chatting in the car for 5-10 minutes before she got out of our car to get into her own. She left & we attempted to turn on our car. Dead. We tried a few more times & it wouldn’t turn over. It was12:30 at night & we were blocking three cars so we called AAA & they came to jump us (very quickly I might add) . We drove around for 10 minutes to charge the battery & got back to our room around 1:30am. My pain tends to get worse as the day progresses so I decided to take one of my new pain medications as I didn’t want anything to spoil my weekend with the girls. We stayed up talking for another hour or so & I drifted off to sleep in a lovely bed full of pillows & comfort.

I woke up naturally Saturday morning. We relaxed in the room until a little before 10am heading downstairs to a delightful continental breakfast of fresh fruit & coffee.  I felt a little tired, attributing it to a late night & my untimely monthly “visitor” coming the day before. I drank another cup of coffee to perk up & enjoy my friend’s company. She was talking but I was seeing two of her, I was getting nauseous & asked for a cup of water thinking I might be dehydrated. After a couple cups of water did not make me better I confessed that I needed to lay down. It wasn’t a big deal as we didn’t have anything planned for awhile & we were waiting for our friend to arrive from being with her daughter.  My head was spinning, I was super nauseous, laying down was NOT making me feel better. I remembered that I had a pain patch on so I took that off thinking maybe my pressure was dropping (I have passed out on several occasions in high school & during pregnancy. Every time it was due to low blood pressure & dehydration). I tried to drink some more water but it wasn’t helping. I knew I was sick, too sick to be hanging out with the girls. I weakly called my husband to come get me (my friends had gone to lunch). When they got back I was crawling on the floor, too weak to get back in the bed. I sat on the floor with tears of disappointment & frustration streaming down my face. They helped me back to bed, suggesting a little rest before the play that evening. I knew I was NOT going to make it to the play, I couldn’t even see my way to the bathroom! My husband arrived & my friends got a wheelchair for me & wheeled me to the car.

I am not sure if it was the movement of the car or what but I felt like I was going in & out of consciousness in the van. My words were mumbled & I felt limp. The AC was on but I felt like I wasn’t getting air. I managed to ask my husband to take me to the ER. I didn’t want to pass out at home with the boys. He took me to the hospital & they wheeled me in. We had our 2 youngest sons with us & DJ calls a friend from church to pick up the boys. What wonderful friends we have! They not only picked them up from the hospital but they went to our house to get my 10 yr old & the boys pj’s! Then they took them to their house, fed them, spoiled them & the boys spent the night with them while we were at the hospital for 6 hours.  I got fluids & nausea medicine & left the hospital with only a minor headache & nausea.

Sunday morning I awoke to a gloriously quiet house & some fresh fruit my husband had prepared for me. I stayed in the bed most of the day. I went outside in the afternoon to sit in the sun & listen to squeals of delight as my boys ran in the sprinkler & had mud ball fights. More friends came to bring food for the boys & vegetable sushi for the adults. I was so encouraged by all the love shown to me & my family in a difficult time.

This week my chiropractor is concerned that I might have a ruptured disk causing my foot & leg pain. I have an MRI of my back Friday so we shall see what it says & go from there. I am slowly reintroducing my new medications to see if I have an adverse reaction to any of them (you would think I would know better as a nurse!) J

Count Your Blessings

http://www.mcleanbible.org/media_player.asp?type=large&messageID=103628

http://www.mcleanbible.org/media_player.asp?type=large&messageID=103957

http://www.mcleanbible.org/media_player.asp?type=large&messageID=104665

(links to some really great messages that are encouraging me during this time) 

Mother’s Day was bittersweet for me. I am so very thankful for my sweet boys & their love for me. I am learning to trust God’s plans for me. A baby girl for me is not part of the plan right now. I have 2 sister-in-laws pregnant with little girls & I am excited to love on my nieces. And I heard a message about how Satan got Eve to sin & he still uses that SAME approach today. He isolates her, he gets her to think that God doesn’t really care about her, & then he gets her to see the ONE thing that she doesn’t have. Wow. Totally convicted on that one! I am not saying that it doesn’t hurt to have asked for over 10 years for a little girl for God to say, “No” or “Not Now”. What I am saying is that I need to concentrate & focus on what I DO have, three wonderful boys. God is good.

I am not sure if the pain in my foot & leg will ever “be healed”. I have been to almost a dozen doctors, changed my diet, taking all kinds of supplements & high doses of Lyrica (for neuropathic pain) with minimal amounts of improvement. I am able to drive & hobble around my house. If I have to walk over 20 feet then its with a crutch or on my scooter in stores only because the pain is so great. I am learning to live with my new ‘normal’ & hoping for all this to be behind us soon. I won’t be updating on it anymore unless I have some fantastic news J

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Refrain

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Refrain

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Refrain

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Refrain